My WordPress Blog
When our children are young, they come to us, it seems, innumerable times throughout the day wanting to share something with us. An idea they had, a discovery, questions about life. At times these visits aren’t so helpful or desired, like when we’re on an important conference call or having… private time with our spouse. […]
When our children are young, they come to us, it seems, innumerable times throughout the day wanting to share something with us. An idea they had, a discovery, questions about life. At times these visits aren’t so helpful or desired, like when we’re on an important conference call or having… private time with our spouse.
But we should savor each and every interaction we have with our kids, because eventually they grow up to be teenagers and want nothing to do with us!
Okay, not exactly. But kind of. Which is why it’s important we work hard to keep the bond and channels of communication open with our teens.
If you feel you’ve lost the connection with your teen, here are some ways to form a bond:
Listen
When your teen does speak with you, really pay attention. Teens are notorious for communicating things that don’t match up with the words they are using. Read between the lines and pay close attention to body language.
Create Rituals
Right now it’s about quality not quantity. You won’t be able to get all of their time and attention you want. So figure out little rituals and ways to connect. That may mean hitting the golf range on the weekend or going out for pizza night, just you and your kid, or having a spa day at home.
Support Their Hobbies
The teen years are when you child begins to recognize their own unique gifts and interests. So it’s important that you take an interest in what they love to do. Make time in your schedule to go to their game or band concert. If they like mountain biking, go biking with them. Support their hobbies as much as possible.
Ask Them to Teach You Something
Nothing will give your teen more pride and confidence than illustrating they know something that you don’t. It could be something as simple as showing you how to set up a Tik Tok account or how to order something off of Alexa, or something more complex like how to play the guitar or build a robot.
Your kids will be out of the house before you know it. Take the time and make the effort to bond with your teen now.
SOURCES:
https://www.ahaparenting.com/read/tips-bond-close-teen
https://www.parents.com/kids/teens/questions-for-teens-to-help-you-bond/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/surprising-tricks-to-help_n_6278070
At one time or another, all parents feel like their child is acting “out of control.” But eventually this feeling passes as the event passes. But for some parents, an out-of-control child is not a fleeting phenomena but a 24/7 reality. These children constantly push the limits and seem to care very little (if at […]
At one time or another, all parents feel like their child is acting “out of control.” But eventually this feeling passes as the event passes. But for some parents, an out-of-control child is not a fleeting phenomena but a 24/7 reality. These children constantly push the limits and seem to care very little (if at all) about the consequences.
If you are the parent of an out of control child, you must take steps to maintain your authority, not only for your child’s well-being, but for your own mental health. With this in mind, here are some tips for parenting an out of control child:
Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Do you know why many kids test their parents and their boundaries? Because they have a strong need to feel safe and secure. If they test you and you don’t bend, your child will feel safe and secure knowing YOU are in control and they don’t have to be. When you make a rule and set boundaries, be sure to always follow through with consequences.
Be Very Clear
Kids don’t hear or process information like adults do. How you speak with colleagues or employees at work will not work with your kids. You have got to be 100% crystal clear. And it’s a really good idea to write down all household rules so they know EXACTLY what will be tolerated and what won’t.
Use Positive Language
No one – especially an out of control 8-year-old – likes to be told what they can’t do. Your kid will simply focus on that negative word CAN’T. Instead, always use positive language that describes what they CAN do once they have completed a chore.
For instance, instead of saying, “No video games until you fold the laundry,” say, “You can watch video games once the laundry is folded.” It may seem like a subtle difference to your ears, but it will land much differently in theirs.
If you’ve tried these tips and others but are still having a hard time parenting your child, it may be time for family therapy. A trained therapist can help you and your child communicate and help your child discover why they are acting out, offering tools to change their behavior.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
SOURCES:
https://www.verywellfamily.com/help-my-kids-are-out-of-control-1094959
https://www.clevguard.com/parental-control/deal-with-out-of-control-kids/